INTERNET HUMOR PAGES

A bowling pin need only tilt 7.5 degrees in order to fall down.

The bubbles in Guinness Beer sink to the bottom rather than float to the top like all other beers. No one knows why.

If you put a raisin in a glass of champagne, it will keep floating to the top and sinking to the bottom.

Reno, Nevada is west of Los Angeles, California.

The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado.

In Cleveland, Ohio, it's illegal to catch mice without a hunting license.

It's against the law to catch fish with your bare hands in Kansas.

Every male over the age of 18 is considered part of the Arizona Militia according to state constitution.

Texas is also the only state that is allowed to fly its state flag at the same height as the U.S. flag.

In Kentucky, 50 percent of the people who get married for the first time are teenagers.

In Los Angeles, there are fewer people than there are automobiles.

Almost a quarter of the land area of Los Angeles is taken up by automobiles.

49.6% of US residents live in Eastern time zone, 29.3% live in the Central time zone, 5.3% live in the Mountain time zone, 15.0% live in the Pacific time zone and .8% live in any other time zone. (twilight zone?)

The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.

Jupiter's core is in fact made of a non-metal, but due to the immense pressure inside Jupiter the core has become a metal. This metal is hydrogen.

The Japanese word "Arigato" meaning thank you is derived from the Portugese word "Obrigado". Portugal once had a thriving trade with Japan.

Assuming Rudolph was in front, there are 40,320 ways to arrange the other eight reindeer.

A fullgrown bear can run as fast as a horse.

When opossums are playing opossum, they are not "playing." They actually pass out from sheer terror.

The fingerprints of koala bears are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene.

A lion's roar can be heard from five miles away.

A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

You're more likely to get stung by a bee on a windy day than in any other weather.

Research indicates that mosquitoes are attracted to people who have recently eaten bananas.

Elephants can't jump. Every other mammal can.

Penguins can jump as high as 6 feet in the air. Even if you cut off a cockroach's head, it can live for several weeks.

The world population of chickens is about equal to the number of people.

The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds.

It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.

An ostrich's eye is bigger that it's brain.

Cat's urine glows under a blacklight.

The world's termites outweigh the world's humans 10 to 1.

A male emperor moth can smell a female emperor moth up to 7 miles away.

A giraffe can go without water longer than a camel can.

Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over 1 million descendents.

A shark can detect one part of blood in 100 million parts of water.

You are more likely to be struck by lightning that to be eaten by a shark. You are more likely to be infected by flesh-eating bacteria than you are to be struck by lightning.

If you urinate when swimming in a South American river, you may encounter the candiru. Drawn to warmth, this tiny fish is known to follow a stream of urine to its source, swim inside the body, and flare is barbed fins. It will remain firmly embedded in the flesh until surgically removed.

The word "karate" means "empty hand."

The Chinese ideogram for 'trouble' depicts two women living under one roof. And the Chinese words for crisis and opportunity are the same.

Four people played Darth Vader: David Prowse was his body, James Earl Jones did the voice, Sebastian Shaw was his face and a fourth person did the breathing.

The sound of E.T. walking was made by someone squishing her hands in Jello.

Actor Tommy Lee Jones and vice-president Al Gore were freshman roommates at Harvard.

101 Dalmatians and Peter Pan are the only two Disney cartoon features with both parents that are present and don't die throughout the movie.

Average age of top GM executives in 1994: 49.8 years. Average age of the Rolling Stones: 50.6.

A hamlet is a village without a church and a town is not a city until it has a cathedral.

The launching mechanism of a carrier ship that helps planes to take off, could throw a pickup truck over a mile.

If you told someone that they were one in a million, you'd be saying there were about 1,800 of them in China.

The average sixty minute audio cassette tape has 562.5 feet of tape in it, nearly two football fields long.

The ashes of the average cremated person weigh nine pounds.

The "save" icon on Microsoft Word shows a floppy disk, with the shutter on backwards.

There are only 14 blimps in the world, and 10 of them are in the U.S.

Pinocchio is Italian for "pine eyes."

If you stretch a standard Slinky out flat it measures 87 feet long.

Most Americans' car horns beep in the key of F.

The telephone dial tone is also in the key of F.

Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33.

Ralph Lauren's original name was Ralph Lifshitz.

An average person laughs about 15 times a day.

The average person is about a quarter of an inch taller at night.

A sneeze zooms out of your mouth at over 600 m.p.h.

If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.

A Saudi Arabian woman can get a divorce if her husband doesn't give her coffee.

Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.

The average bank teller loses about $250 every year.

In 1980, there was only one country in the world with no telephones - Bhutan.

Every person has a unique tongue print.

Your right lung takes in more air than your left one does.

Women's hearts beat faster than men's.

Pollsters say that 40 percent of dog and cat owners carry pictures of the pets in their wallets.

Bubble gum contains rubber.

Only 55 percent of all Americans know that the sun is a star.

Every time Beethoven sat down to write music, he poured ice water over his head.

In 75% of American households, women manage the money and pay the bills.

About 70 percent of Americans who go to college do it just to make more money.

Some toothpastes contain antifreeze.

Nearly a third of all bottled drinking water purchased in the US is contaminated with bacteria.

When a pilot light in a gas barbecue fails to ignite the gas jets properly, it is easy for you to inhale gas accidentally while trying to light it by hand. If this has happened, when the match does light, sometimes a trail of flame will blaze from the jet onto your mouth, filling your lungs with fire. Oddly enough, you would suffocate before burning to death as the flame would consume the oxygen in every breath you would take.

The soft plastic headphones used on airplanes create a warm, moist environment in the ear canal that is ideal for breeding bacteria. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

On a plane, if the passenger in your seat on the incoming flight had serious gas, then you are sitting on a cushion full of disease-causing microbes.

Homely criminals get 50% longer jail sentences, on average, than good-looking criminals.

Four sunken nuclear submarines sit at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean. One, a Russian sub resting in deep water off of Bermuda, holds 16 live nuclear warheads. Scientists and oceanographers are unsure what the impact of the escaping plutonium will have, but warn that corrosion could create the proper chemical environment for a massive nuclear chain reaction.

In 1994, electromagnetic interference (EMI) from a nearby cellular telephone captivated a power wheelchair at a scenic vista in Colorado, sending the passenger over a cliff.

More people working in advertising died on the job in 1996 than died while working in petroleum refining.

The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog." uses every letter in the alphabet. (Developed by Western Union to Test telex/twx communications)

The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.

Hang On Sloopy is the official rock song of Ohio.

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

"I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.

Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.

Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a year's supply of footballs.

There are an average of 178 sesame seeds on a McDonald's Big Mac bun.

When Heinz ketchup leaves the bottle, it travels at a rate of 25 miles per year.

Humans are the only primates that don't have pigment in the palms of their hands.

On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.

A toothpick is the object most often choked on by Americans.

In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined.

12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily. (That's one every two hours.)

315 entries in Webster's Dictionary are misspelled.

A 10-gallon hat barely holds 6 pints.

A hard working adult sweats up to 4 gallons per day. Most of the sweat evaporates before a person realizes it's there, though!

A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

A jumbo jet uses 4,000 gallons of fuel to take off.

If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16, 1969, make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles?

There are 2 great secrets to success in life. The first is to not tell everything you know.

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