Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Biden tells them he fixed it and they all sit in the dark and applaud.

Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It's irrelevant; they don't know they're in the dark!

Q: How many cats does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Cats do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: "How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?"

Q: How many liberals does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They prefer to remain in the dark and blame Bush.

Q: How Barack Hussein Obama does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They prefer to remain in the dark!

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. It's a hardware problem!

Q: How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Nun.

Q: Why can't blondes screw in a lightbulb?
A: They keep breaking them with the hammer.

Q: How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb?
A: She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment."

Q: What's the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
A: You can unscrew a lightbulb.

Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. Californians cannot afford to turn on the lights.

Q: How many Borg does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but the whole collective enjoys the experience!

Q: How many surrealist painters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: A fish.

Q: How many real estate agents does to take to change a light bulb?
A: Ten, but we'll accept eight.

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one. But it takes him all night, and when he's done, the refrigerator and toilet are broken.

Q: How many divorced men does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, because they never get the house!

Q: How many male chauvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
Al: None. Let the bitch do the dishes in the dark.
A2: None. Let the bitch do it after she finishes the dishes.

Q: How many real men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. Real men aren't afraid of the dark.

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One...Men will screw anything.

Q: How many doses of Viagra does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One little tablet, and it's a whole new bulb.

Q: How many Vietnam Vets does it take to change a light bulb?
A: You just had to be there man! (screamed in a loud voice)

Q: How many people from New Jersey does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to change the light bulb, one to be a witness, and the third to shoot the witness.

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