INTERNET HUMOR PAGES

Last Call For Translation Of Bar Phrases!

 male to male  Excuse me.  Get the hell out of the way.
 male to female  Excuse me.  I am going to grope you now and blame it on the crowd.
 female to male  Excuse me.  Don't even think about groping me, just get the hell out of my way.
 female to female  Excuse me.   Move your fat ass. Who do you think you are anyway? You're certainly not all that, missy, coming in here dressed like a ho...And get your eyes off of my man, or I'll slap you like the slut you are, bitch.
 male or female (to self)  That person looks really familiar.  Did I sleep with him/her?
 female  I don't have my ID on me.  I'm 16.
 male  I don't have my ID on me.  I don't have a license since I got pulled over and blew a .4 after my last visit here.
 male or female (to anyone/everyone)  No, really, I'm OK to drive.  I'm wasted, and I'm too embarrassed to have anybody see who I'm going home with.
 male or female (to anyone/everyone)  I'm not used to these darts.  I can't throw anything smaller than a pool cue when I'm this bombed.
 male to female  Let's go to my car and get some cigarettes.  You would look great face down in my lap.
 male or female (to anyone/everyone)  I've had like 10 beers already.  I've only had 3 but need an excuse to behave this way.

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