You May Be A Pirate If ...

Your preferred method of firing an employee involves a plank, shark infested waters, and a ten foot drop.

You use the words "Port" and "Starboard" when giving directions.

You think opening a bank account requires the use of a shovel, a compass and a map.

Your money is buried in a wooden box on an offshore island.

You think gold doubloons are an acceptable form of currency.

You have the only boat in the marina equipped with a cannon.

You think all your problems can be solved with sufficient quantities of gunpowder and rum.

You know a pirate cannot live by bread alone; he needs rum, too!

The rum is always gone.

You've been banned from the pond because your toy boat keeps sinking the others.

An acceptable excuse for not being with your wife is that you are on a ship.

You have an eye patch.

You have a wooden peg-leg.

You have a parrot on your shoulder.

Your parrot swears as much as you do.

You say "Yarr" a lot.

You're Arrrrrr Rated.

Your favorite consonant is "ARRRRR!"

You only own the R volume of the encyclopedia.

You have an eyepatch because you’re not very skilled with a hook.

You change your eyepatch more often than your underwear.

Your medicine is confused with poison.

Your favorite pickup line is "Prepare to be boarded!"

You think Captain Hook was just misunderstood.

You think "trolling for booty" means recovering a treasure chest from the bottom of the harbor.

You can swim more than 100 yards with a knife in your teeth.

You’ve ever gotten splinters from your wooden leg.

You use your wooden leg to play pool.

You think Treasure Island is a history book.

Your Doll collection are dressed in dew rags, and eye patche.

Your cell phones ring tone is "Ahoy, Ahoy, come on we'er Ahoying ya, A freaking hoy!!"

You call your wife a 'salty sweetheart' and she responds favorably.

You feel like you arrrrr!

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