You May Be A Muslim If ...
01. you grow and refine heroin for a living, but morally object to the use of liquor.
02. you own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but canít afford shoes.
03. you have more wives than teeth.
04. you wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon to be "unclean".
05. you think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
06. you canít think of anyone that you havenít declared jihad against.
07. you consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
08. you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses, other than setting off roadside bombs.
09. you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.
10. you say you love your daughter, sister, mother, aunt, or any other female relative and then you'd kill her if she's raped.
11. you enjoy throwing homosexuals off roof tops.
12. you enjoy having sex with a goat.
13. you've ever had a crush on your neighbor's goat.
14. your name is Hussein Obama and you were born outside the continental US.
15. your cousin is president of the United States.
16. you bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.
17. you ever opened a can of falafel with a mortar round.
18. you ever had your camel repossessed.
19. you ever asked, "Does this burka make my ass look fat?"
20. you felt the urge to rub one out after seeing a woman's exposed ankle.
21. you ever uttered the phrase, "I love what you've done with your cave."
22. the only way for you to get laid is to blow yourself up and get into heaven.
23. you are a moron.
24. you children learned to fasten their suicide bomber vests before they learned to put on their shoes/sandals.
25. you want to kill whoever wrote this, whoever posted it and whoever passed it on.
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