INTERNET HUMOR PAGES

A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham and bacon. After several weeks, he notices that none of the pigs are getting pregnant, and calls a Vet for help. The Vet tells the farmer that he should try artificial insemination.

The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means, but not wanting to display his ignorance, he only asks the Vet how he will know when the pigs are pregnant. The Vet tills him that the pigs will lie down and wallow in the mud.

The farmer hangs up and gives this some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the pigs. So he loads them into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.

Next morning he wakes up and looks out at the pigs. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take and loads them into the truck again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each pig twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed.

Next morning, he wakes up and finds the pigs still just standing around. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive the truck to the woods. He spends all day shagging the pigs, and upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the pigs. He asks his wife to tell him if the pigs are lying in the mud. "No," she says, "they're all in the truck and one of them's honking the horn."

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