INTERNET HUMOR PAGES

A guy goes into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender gives him a beer and a bowl of nuts. The guy starts drinking his beer and munches on a few nuts when suddenly he hears a soft voice, "Hey that's a nice tie".

The guy looks around and sees no one except the bartender at the other end of the bar. The guy takes another sip of his beer and munches a few more nuts when again he hears the soft voice, "Man you are looking good, have you lost weight?".

The guy looks around, dazed and confused, and only sees the bartender down at the other end of the bar. He has another sip of his beer, a few more nuts, and the same thing happens again, the soft voice, "Wow, where do you buy your clothes? I simply love your jacket".

The guy calls the bartender down. "Do you hear voices?" the guy asks nervously. "Voices Sir?" the bartender asks thinking he's got a nutter sitting at the bar.

"Yah watch this" says the guy. He sips his beer and munches a handful of nuts. Sure enough there's the soft voice. "Man are you smart or what."

"Oh, that", says the bartender, "its the nuts."

"The nuts?", asks the guy.

"Yes" says the bartender, "they're complimentary."

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