Titanic Video vs. Clinton Video

 Titanic Video  Clinton Video
 $9.99 on Internet.  $9.99 on Internet.
 Over 3 hours long.  Over 3 hours long.
 The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, a subsequent catastrophe.  The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, a subsequent catastrophe.
 Villain: White Star Line.  Villain: Ken Starr.
 Jack is a starving artist.  Bill is a B.S. artist.
 In one part, Jack enjoys a good cigar.  Ditto for Bill.
 During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.  Ditto for Monica.
 Jack teaches Rose to spit.  Let's not go there.
 Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.  Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.
 Rose gets to keep her jewelry.  Monica's forced to return her gifts.
 Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.  Clinton doesn't remember Jack.
 Behind the scenes: Leonardo DiCaprio is wildly popular.  Behind the scenes: Bill Clinton's approval rating is at seventy percent.
 Jack surrenders to an icy death.  Bill goes home to Hillary - basically the same thing.

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