Titanic Video vs. Clinton Video
| Titanic Video | Clinton Video |
| $9.99 on Internet. | $9.99 on Internet. |
| Over 3 hours long. | Over 3 hours long. |
| The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, a subsequent catastrophe. | The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, a subsequent catastrophe. |
| Villain: White Star Line. | Villain: Ken Starr. |
| Jack is a starving artist. | Bill is a B.S. artist. |
| In one part, Jack enjoys a good cigar. | Ditto for Bill. |
| During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined. | Ditto for Monica. |
| Jack teaches Rose to spit. | Let's not go there. |
| Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen. | Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either. |
| Rose gets to keep her jewelry. | Monica's forced to return her gifts. |
| Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life. | Clinton doesn't remember Jack. |
| Behind the scenes: Leonardo DiCaprio is wildly popular. | Behind the scenes: Bill Clinton's approval rating is at seventy percent. |
| Jack surrenders to an icy death. | Bill goes home to Hillary - basically the same thing. |
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