Bachelor's Diet

MONDAY:

BREAKFAST: Who can eat breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth.

LUNCH: Send your secretary out for six "gutbombers" those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and have her stop on the way back for a family size bottle of maalox.

AFTERNOON SNACK: Drink the maalox.

DINNER: Six pack of beer and Kentucky fried chicken three-piece dinner, don't eat the coleslaw.

BREAKFAST: Eat the coleslaw.

LUNCH: Go to the office vending machine and put ninety five cents in and close your eyes, push a button and eat whatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea.

DINNER: Four tacos and a pitcher of Sangria at El Flasho's.

BREAKFAST: Jaws couldn't eat breakfast after a night at El Flasho's.

LUNCH: Rolaids and a coke.

DINNER: Drop in at a married friends house and beg for scraps.

BREAKFAST: Order out for pizza.

LUNCH: Your secretary is out sick, check Mondays gutbomber sack for leftovers.

DINNER: Go to a bar and drink yourself silly, when you get hungry ask the bartender for olives.

BREAKFAST: Eggs, sausage, and an English muffin at McDonalds. Eat the Styrofoam plate and leave the food. It tastes better and it's better for you.

LUNCH: Skip lunch, Fridays are murder.

DINNER: Steak, well-done, baked potato, and asparagus. Don't eat the asparagus, nobody really likes asparagus.

BREAKFAST: Sleep through it.

LUNCH: Ditto.

DINNER: Steak, Well done, baked potato, and brussel sprouts. Dont eat the Brussel Sprouts. Take them home and plant them in a hanging basket.

BREAKFAST: Three Bloody Marys and half a Twinkie.

LUNCH: Eat Lunch? Waste a good buzz? Dont eat Lunch.

DINNER: Chicken noodle soup - Call your mom and ask her about renting your old room.

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