INTERNET HUMOR PAGES

Pfizer Corp. (NYSE PFE) is making the announcement today that VIAGRA will soon be available in liquid form and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage under the name "Mount And Do".

Pepsi's proposed ad campaign suggests: "It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one."

LONDON (Reuters) -- Following the approval of Viagra by the UK's health authorities, the first shipment arrived yesterday at Heathrow airport, but was hijacked on the way to the depot.

Scotland Yard have warned the public to be on the lookout for a gang of hardened criminals.

All Drugs have a generic name.

Tylenol is Acetaminophen.

Advil is Ibuprofen.

And so on...

What's the generic name for Viagra?

Mycoxafailin.

In today's headlines, the FDA administered a study where weekly doses of Viagra were given to an equal number of professional men, in this case, doctors and lawyers. While most of the doctors achieved enhanced sexual ability, the lawyers simply grew taller.

I'm so depressed... I went to the doctor today and he refused to write me a prescription for Viagra. Said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.

Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra with Rogaine?
A: Don King.

Q: What do you get when you mix Viagra and whiskey?
A: A stiff drink.

Q: How many doses of Viagra does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One little tablet, and it's a whole new bulb.

If a man overdoses on Viagra, how do they get the casket lid shut?

If the insurance companies are going to set guidelines before approving Viagra coverage, what are they going to use? A growth chart?

I dropped a Viagra in a jar of small sweet pickles last night and this morning I had a jar full of big Kosher dills.

If I give my computer monitor Viagra, will the screen get bigger?

I would only take Viagra for intellectual purposes, so my head would swell.

What would happen if you gave Viagra to a 2x4?
Turn a 2X4 into a stud?
Get a 3x12?

Viagra jokes are getting pretty limp, but they keep popping up.

Before Viagra, for some people, making love was classified as "assault with a dead weapon."

MSNBC's Time and Again, brought to you by Viagra.

The difference between Niagra and Viagra? Niagra Falls.

Viagra Falls, the new waterfall that flows upward.

Viagra, medicine's version of "MIRACLE-GRO.

Mix Viagra and Prozac and you have a guy who is ready to go, but doesn't really care where.

Men taking iron supplements are warned that taking Viagra may cause them to spin around and point north.

If a man overdoses on Viagra, how do they get the casket lid shut?

Of course you've heard about the Viagra computer virus, it turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.

A man at the pharmacy to pick up his Viagra prescription exclaimed over the $10/pill price. His wife, who was with him, had a different opinion: "Oh, $40 a year isn't too bad."

Men are being warned not to take Viagra with nitrates after five gentlemen in India did so and changed the balance of power in the region.

If you're depressed and think you might need Viagra, see a professional.
If that doesn't work, see a doctor!

For years the medical professional has been looking after the ill, to make them better. Now, with Viagra, they're raising the dead!

Viagra is now being compared to Disneyland - a one-hour wait for a 2-minute ride.

Are you taking Viagra or are you just happy to see me?

Rumor has it that when a truck carrying a load of Viagra slid off into the Ohio River, all the lift bridges suddenly went up.

If however you do need to take Viagra, remember to swallow them quickly otherwise you'll get a stiff neck.

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