You might be an Engineer if...

... you introduce your wife as "mylady@home.wife"

... your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner

... you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie

... You have Dilbert comics displayed anywhere in your work area

... Dilbert is your hero

... you stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE

... you can name at least 6 Star Trek episodes

... the only jokes you receive are through e-mail

... your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50

... your wrist watch has more computing power than a 300Mhz Pentium

... your wrist watch has more computing power than a 3ghz Pentium

... your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place

... you look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys

... you use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car

... you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts

... at Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string

... you window shop at Radio Shack

... your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies

... you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance

... you have ever purchased an electronic appliance "as-is"

... you see a good design and still have to change it

... the salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions

... you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it

... the thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters your mind

... you own a set of itty-bitty screw drivers, but you don't remember where they are

... you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires

... you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal

... you have more toys than your kids

... you need a checklist to turn on the TV

... you have introduced your kids by the wrong name

... you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work

... your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight

... the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush up to the front to fix it

... you can remember 7 different computer passwords but not your anniversary

... you have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery channel and have seen most of the shows already

... you have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN stands for

... your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first color TV with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and you grew up thinking that was normal

... you know how to take the cover off of your computer, and what size screw driver to use

... you can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting

... people groan at the party when you pick out the music

... you can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this week

... you did the sound system for your senior prom

... your checkbook always balances

... your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone

... you have more friends on the Internet than in real life

... you thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission controllers

... you think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep

... you spend more on your home computer than your car

... At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string

... Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma

... Everyone else on the Alaskan cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room

... In college you thought Spring Break was a metal fatigue failure

... You are always late to meetings

... You are at an air show and know how fast the skydivers are falling

... You bought your wife a new CD ROM for her birthday

... You can't write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines

... You comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel

... You forgot to get a haircut ... for 6 months

... You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards in the chairs to see how they do the special effects

... You have never bought any new underwear or socks for yourself since you got married

... You wear black socks with white tennis shoes (or vice versa)

... You know what http:// actually stands for

... You own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts

... You spent more on your calculator than on your wedding ring

... You're in the back seat of your car, she's looking wistfully at the moon, and you're trying to locate a geosynchronous satellite

... You know what the geosynchronous satellite function is

... Your laptop computer costs more than your car

... Your wife hasn't the foggiest idea what you do at work

... You've already calculated how much you make per second

... You've ever tried to repair a $5 radio

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