INTERNET HUMOR PAGES

McDonnell Douglas


M     M        DDDD                          ll  ll
MM   MM        D   D                          l   l
M M M M        D   D                          l   l
M  M  M  ccc   D   D  ooo  n nn  n nn   eee   l   l
M     M c      D   D o   o nn  n nn  n e   e  l   l
M     M c      D   D o   o n   n n   n eeeee  l   l
M     M c      D   D o   o n   n n   n e      l   l
M     M  ccc   DDDD   ooo  n   n n   n  eee  lll lll

DDDD                    ll
D   D                    l
D   D                    l   aaa
D   D  ooo  u   u  ggg   l      a   ssss
D   D o   o u   u g   g  l   aa a  s
D   D o   o u   u g   g  l  a  aa   sss
D   D o   o u  uu g  gg  l  a   a      s
DDDD   ooo   uu u  gg g lll  aaa a ssss
                     g
                                       ggg

AIRCRAFT-SPACE SYSTEMS-MISSILES

Important! Important!

Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase

Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.

  1. Name

    Title Mr.  Mrs.  Ms.  Miss  Lt.  Gen.  Commander  Classified  Other 

    First   
    Initial   
    Last   

  2. Location

    Latitude    Longitude    Altitude   

  3. Password, Code Name, Etc.

  4. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
    F-14 Tomcat   F-15 Eagle   F-16 Falcon   F-19A Stealth   Classified  

  5. Date of purchase:
    Month    Day    Year   

  6. Serial Number

  7. Please check where this product was purchased:
    Received as Gift/Aid Package   Catalog Showroom   Sleazy Arms Broker  
    Mail Order   Discount Store   Government Surplus  
    Classified  

  8. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:
    Heard loud noise, looked up  Store Display   Espionage  
    Recommended by friend/relative/ally   Political lobbying by Manufacturer  
    Was attacked by one  

  9. Please check the three (3) factors which most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
    Style/Appearance   Kickback/Bribe   Recommended by salesperson  
    Speed/Maneuverability   Comfort/Convenience   McDonnell Douglas Reputation  
    Advanced Weapons Systems   Price/Value   Back-Room Politics  
    Negative experience opposing one in combat  

  10. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
    North America   Central/South America   Aircraft Carrier  
    Europe   Middle East   Africa  
    Asia/Far East   Misc. Third-World Countries   Classified  

  11. . Please check the products that you:
    Currently Own   Intend To Purchase  
    Color TV   Color TV  
    VCR   VCR  
    ICBM   ICBM  
    Killer Satellite   Killer Satellite  
    CD Player   CD Player  
    Air-to-Air Missiles   Air-to-Air Missiles  
    Space Shuttle   Space Shuttle  
    Home Computer   Home Computer  
    Nuclear Weapon   Nuclear Weapon  

  12. How would you describe yourself or your organization? Check all that apply:
    Communist/Socialist   Terrorist   Crazed (Islamic)  
    Crazed (Other)   Neutral   Democratic  
    Dictatorship   Corrupt (Latin American)   Corrupt (Other)  
    Primitive/Tribal  

  13. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
    Cash   Suitcases of Cocaine   Oil Revenues  
    Deficit Spending   Personal Check   Credit Card  
    Ransom Money   Traveler's Check  

  14. Occupation
    Yourself   Your Spouse  
    Homemaker   Homemaker  
    Sales/Marketing   Sales/Marketing  
    Revolutionary   Revolutionary  
    Clerical   Clerical  
    Mercenary   Mercenary  
    Tyrant   Tyrant  
    Middle Management   Middle Management  
    Eccentric Billionaire   Eccentric Billionaire  
    Defense Minister/General   Defense Minister/General  
    Retired   Retired  
    Student   Student  

  15. To help us understand our Customers' lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which you or your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:
    Yourself   Your Spouse  
    Golf   Golf  
    Boating/Sailing   Boating/Sailing  
    Sabotage   Sabotage  
    Running/Jogging   Running/Jogging  
    Propaganda/Disinformation   Propaganda/Disinformation  
    Destabilizing/Overthrow   Destabilizing/Overthrow  
    Default on Loans   Default on Loans  
    Gardening   Gardening  
    Crafts   Crafts  
    Black Market/Smuggling   Black Market/Smuggling  
    Collectibles/Collections   Collectibles/Collections  
    Watching Sports on TV   Watching Sports on TV  
    Wines   Wines  
    Interrogation/Torture   Interrogation/Torture  
    Household Pets   Household Pets  
    Crushing Rebellions   Crushing Rebellions  
    Espionage/Reconnaissance   Espionage/Reconnaissance  
    Fashion Clothing   Fashion Clothing  
    Border Disputes   Border Disputes  
    Mutually Assured Destruction   Mutually Assured Destruction  

Thanks for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future -- as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.

Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:

McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION Marketing Department
Military Aerospace Division
P.O. Box 800
St. Louis, MO 55500


This nifty registration form was first circulated on the McDonnell-Douglas corporate site, and despite a quick removal courtesy of management, it escaped into the wild and to this day continues to provide a wealth of information about McDonnell-Douglas customers.

If there is no menu on the left side of the screen, you need to click here to activate the menu.

hosting by 1and1.com and Chrome Oxide Music
created and maintained by Chrome Oxide
contact Chrome Oxide