[ This list copyright 1998 by Chris White and Ziff Davis, Inc. ] [ The Top Five List top5@walrus.com http://www.topfive.com ] [ To forward or repost, please include this section. ]The Top 16 Signs Your Airline's Mechanics Are Upset
16. Whenever someone flushes, blue water spews from the overhead sprinkler system.
15. Landing gear replaced by Mattel "Big Wheels" and shopping carts.
14. In-flight safety video now includes legal standing of wills written on cocktail napkins.
13. They're fueling the plane with miniature bottles of Stoli.
12. Complimentary bag of "mixed nuts" comes from the landing gear.
11. 4 jet engines on the tarmac, 300 sparrows tied to the wings.
10. Tawny, the apprentice flight attendant, has switched places with Chester, the pre-flight safety engineer.
09. Before: Meticulous 140-point pre-flight inspection.
Now: Thumbs-up/down rating of the in-flight movie.
08. Rolls Royce Turbojets have been replaced by a very large twisted rubber band/propeller gizmo.
07. Skygates at terminal replaced with rope suspension bridge.
06. That oil puddle under the right engine would make Captain Hazelwood proud.
05. All of the in-flight magazines have been replaced with copies of "The Bridges of Madison County."
04. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you'll direct your attention out the right side cabin window -- just past that loose, flapping aileron -- you can see the Grand Canyon."
03. Instead of oxygen masks, voodoo dolls in business suits and nooses drop from the ceiling.
02. You pray that hissing sound is just the after-effects of your seatmate's burrito lunch.
and Top5's Number 1 Sign Your Airline's Mechanics Are Upset...
01. Their middle fingers are in the full upright and locked position.
If there is no menu on the left side of the screen, you need to click here to activate the menu.