ONLY IN AMERICA

ALABAMA
- It is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.
- Boogers may not be flicked into the wind. Really.

ARIZONA
- It is illegal to hunt camels within the state borders.
- In Tucson, women may not wear pants.

CALIFORNIA
- It is illegal to set a mousetrap without a hunting license.
- Women may not drive in a house coat.
- In Ventura County, cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.
- In Los Angeles, a man is legally entitled to beat his wife with a leather belt or strap, but the belt can't be wider than 2 inches, unless he has his wife's consent to beat her with a wider strap. Consent should be given prior to the event, as is carefully stipulated.

FLORIDA
- It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
- Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.

IDAHO
- It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho.

ILLINOIS
- It is against the law to use a slingshot unless you are a police officer.
- Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire.
- In Oblong, it's punishable by law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day.

IOWA
- Public kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes.
- One-armed piano players must perform for free.
- Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, he isn't allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you - or holding you in his arms.

KANSAS
- Pedestrians crossing the highways at night must wear tail lights.
- No one may catch fish with his bare hands.

MARYLAND
- In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."

MASSACHUSETTS
- Mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches.
- It is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath.

MICHIGAN
- A woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.

MINNESOTA
- No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.

MISSOURI
- In Merryville, Missouri, women are prohibited from wearing corsets because "The privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male."

MONTANA
- Bozeman, has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown - if they're nude.

NEVADA
- In Nevada sex without a condom is considered illegal.

NEW JERSEY
- You cannot pump your own gas. All gas stations are full service only.
- In Ocean City, it is against the law to slurp your soup at a restaurant.
- In Liberty Corner, any couple making out inside a vehicle, and accidentally sounding the horn during their lustful act, may be taken to jail.

NEW MEXICO
- During lunch breaks in Carlsbad, no couple should engage in a sexual act while parked in their vehicle, unless their car has curtains.

NEW YORK
- It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun.
- The penalty for jumping off a building is death.

OHIO
- In Cleveland, women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public.
- It is illegal to get a fish drunk.
- In Oxford, it's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture.

OKLAHOMA
- Violators can be arrested and/or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog.
- State law prohibits anyone taking a bite out of another's hamburger.
- Clinton, has a law against masturbating while watching two people having sex in a car.

OREGON
- In Willowdale, no man may curse while having sex with his wife.

SOUTH DAKOTA
- In hotels in Sioux Falls, every room is required to have twin beds. And the beds must always be a minimum of two feet apart when a couple rents a room for only one night. And it's illegal to make love on the floor between the beds.

TEXAS
- It is illegal to milk anybody else's cow except your own.
- It is illegal have more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
- It is illegal for person to go barefoot without first obtaining a permit.
- In Kingsville, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property.

UTAH
- A Tremonton, law states that no woman is allowed to have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance. In addition to normal charges, the woman's name will be published in the local newspaper. The man does not receive any punishment.
- Utah state legislation outlaws all sex with anyone but your spouse. Next to that, adultery, oral and anal sex, and masturbation are considered sodomy and can lead to imprisonment. Sex with an animal - unless performed for profit, however - is NOT considered sodomy. Polygamy - provided only the missionary position has been applied - is only a misdemeanor.

VIRGINIA
- It is illegal to sell peanut brittle on Sundays.
- Flipping a coin in a restaurant to see who pays for coffee is outlawed.
- In Norfolk, a woman can't go out without wearing a corset. (There was a civil-service job - for men only - called a corset inspector.)

WASHINGTON
- It is illegal to paint polka dots on the American flag.
- People may not buy a mattress on Sunday.
- It is against the law to have sex with a virgin.

WASHINGTON D.C.
- The only acceptable sexual position in Washington D.C. is the missionary-style position. Any other sexual position is considered illegal.

WISCONSIN
- In Racine, it is illegal to wake a fireman when he is asleep.
- Butter substitutes are not allowed to be served in state prisons.

WYOMING
- An ordinance in Newcastle, specifically bans couples from having sex while standing inside a store's walk-in meat freezer.

NOT SURE
- The following important ammendment however is to be considered here: "The provisions of this statuate shall not apply to females weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds, nor shall it apply to female horses."

AND YOU THOUGHT AMERICA WAS BAD

BAHRAIN
- In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

BOLIVIA
- In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.

COLOMBIA
- In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.

ENGLAND
- Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores.

GUAM
- There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time ... Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.

HONG KONG
- In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.

INDONESIA
- The penalty for masturbation in is decapitation.

LEBANON
- In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.

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