Marriage Anonymous

There is a new, specialized service called "Marriage Anonymous"

WOMEN:

When you feel like getting married, you call Marriage Anonymous and they send over a man in a dirty T-shirt who hasn't shaved in three days, smells like stale beer, and whines at you to make him a snack while he lies on the couch, emits various bodily gases and their accompanying noises, and watches football.

MEN:

When you feel like getting married, you call Marriage Anonymous and they send you an overweight woman dressed in a sloppy bathrobe and sporting curlers in her hair. She will have no makeup on, and will harangue you to pick up your clothes off the floor.

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