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Down Time Pays Off For Windows Users, By Rich Laniewski

Redmond, WA -- In a desperate move to improve its corporate image, troubled software giant Microsoft (NASDAQ: MSFT) announced yesterday that it would match the charitable move by Apple Corp. (NYSE: AAPL). Apple has pledged to donate, to three separate charities, US$10.00 for every consumer copy of its newest Macintosh operating system, Mac OS 8, sold in the U.S.

"We will not merely match Apple's contribution; we will triple their donation," stated Jerry Irvine, a Microsoft spokesperson. Microsoft will offer, to any charity that is using Microsoft's "Windows 98" operating system, US$30.00 for every man-hour lost to operating system crashes and other Windows-related software bugs.

"We feel that this could potentially be very profitable for charities that are using the Windows 98 operating system," said Irvine.

Charities immediately hailed the effort, saying that they may now finally start to recoup losses stemming from problems associated with Microsoft's Windows software.

"Glory be to Microsoft," praised Rev. Jimmy Scamwell of the Bible Belt Baptist Congregation. "Our MIS managers recommended Windows to us several years ago, and it has proven to be nothing less than the work of the Dark Angel, himself. But with all the time we spend rebooting and reinstalling from backups, this offer from Microsoft could well be the second coming for us!"

Others were not so enthusiastic. According to Harvey Kremwell, president and CEO of Wall Street investment firm Kops & Kremwell, Microsoft stands to lose quite a bit in this high-stakes gamble.

"Just look at the down time suffered by the average Windows user," says Kremwell. "Multiply that by the number of computers running -- or not running, as the case may be -- Windows 98 software at your typical charity, and you start to see the magnitude of the problem. Thirty dollars an hour can really add up when you're running Windows 98."

Kremwell commented that Bill Gates, founder and CEO of Microsoft, has a net worth of only US$43 billion. "That won't last long with this deal," said Kremwell.

Still, it may be just what many charities need to improve their sagging bottom lines -- and their computing environments.

"We've been struggling with the problems of all this Windows software," said Marjorie Burke, a recently-hired MIS manager for the United Way charities in Washington, D.C. "We were spending so much in support that we could not afford to reinvest in better equipment. But if we can keep close track of all the time we lose from Windows software, we might eventually be able to purchase some high-end servers running Mac OS Server -- not NT, of course -- and open our own ISP."

"Considering the savings these charities will accumulate," said Irvine, "Microsoft's donation will far outpace that of Apple's."

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