A History Of Microsoft Cars

Car Basic: Microsoft's first product. A set of auto accessories sold for cars from Apple, Tandy, and Digital Research. They also had a pedal-powered version that you could use without a car . This was only available through a road builder.

Disk Car: Microsoft's first car. After a misunderstanding between the road manufacturer IBM and the car manufacturer Digital Research, Microsoft bought a car factory that made copies of the popular Car Parts for Microroads (CP/M). It had no windows, passenger seats, door locks, or seatbelts, but that was typical for cars at the time.

Microsoft X-Car: This experimental vehicle had such luxuries as passenger seats, seat belts, door locks, a starter motor, and muffler. It still had no windows, but each passenger could look in a different direction. The seat belts didn't do much to keep passengers from hurting themselves, but it did keep them from reaching each other or the driver. The engine hardly ever exploded (a perennial problem with DOS Car and one that Microsoft is still truggling with to the present day) It was based on another company's product, and after they refused to sell their engine only to Microsoft they turned the X-car division into a separate company.

In any case, passenger seats cut into the sale of personal cars.

Car Windows: An add on for Disk Car, this allowed the driver to look in more than one direction at once. It was very heavy, and with this add-on Disk Car could no longer run on some of the older roads, even some that carried the X-Car with ease. In lieu of seat belts, it came with an air bag that gave the drive the opportunity to stop the car before the engine exploded.

Car 2: A joint project with IBM, Car 2 resolved many of the problems with Car Windows, and while it bogged down on some older roads the ones that did support it let it drive more smoothely. It also allowed multiple passengers, so long as they only looked in certain directions, and had provision for locks. The engine didn't explode as often as Disk Car's, and often a complete failure could be avoided by throwing burning luggage out the window.

Car 95: By combining Car Windows with Disk Car, Microsoft was able to remove the clumsy bolts and make the Car more maneuverable. It was still very heavy, and didn't drive fast enough to be useful on any but the best roads. When the engine catches on fire it automatically puts itself out, sometimes without setting the luggage aflame.

Car NT: After Microsoft abandoned Car 2, they started over and built Car NT. Car NT was intended to compete with the many companies making spinoffs of the old X-car, like X-Truck, X-Airplane, and X-Ambulance. While it had a starter motor and locks, it still couldn't carry passengers and attempts to bolt on a trailer never seem to work very well. It does have the significant advantage that the engine hardly ever explodes (though when it does, it engulfs the whole vehicle in blue flames that obscure all the windows).

In the future Microsoft promises to combine Car NT with Car 95, providing a single Car for everyone who wants to go where they want to let them. For older roads and offroad work people have generally taken to building their own cars in their garages.

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