A judge asked a defendant to please stand. "You are charged with murdering a school teacher with a chain saw."

From out in the audience a man shouted, "Lying bastard!"

"Silence in the court!", the Judge shouted back to the man. He turned to the defendant and said, "You are also charged with killing a paperboy with a shovel."

"Tightwad!", blurted the man again.

"Quiet!", yelled the judge who continued, "You are also charged with killing a mailman with an electric drill."

"Son of a..." the man started to shout when the Judge thundered back, "If you don't tell me reason for your outbursts right now, I will hold in contempt!"

So the man answered, "I've lived next to that man for ten years now, but do you think he ever had a tool when I needed to borrow one!"

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