Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids
all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd
love to be skinny like that but not with all those
flies and death and stuff.
- Mariah Carey Pop singer
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not
live forever, because if we were supposed to live
forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live
forever, which is why I would not live forever.
- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss Universe contest
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces
some of the same reactions in the brain as
marijuana...The researchers also discovered other
similarities between the two, but can't remember what
they are.
- Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22
I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to
comply with the law.
- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he
failed to pay his taxes.
Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very
important part of your life.
- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal
anti-smoking campaign.
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward
Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the
lowest crime rates in the country.
- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC
The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make
them unsafe.
- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia
After finding no qualified candidates for the position
of principal, the school board is extremely pleased to
announce the appointment of David Steele to the post.
- Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Barrington, Rhode Island
"It just makes good sense to put all your eggs in one basket."
- Texas Rep. Joe Salem speaking on an amendment requiring all revenues
to go into the state treasury
"Lemme give ya' a hypothetic."
- Texas Rep. Renal Rosson
"And now, will y'all stand and be recognized?"
- Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis to a group of handicapped people in
wheelchairs
"Dallas salutes a person who can buy a piece of art, but not a person who
can create one."
- A. C. Greene
"No thanks, once was enough."
- Texas Governor Bill Clements, asked if he had been born again
"Well, there never was a Bible in the room."
- Texas Governor Bill Clements, asked about repeatedly lying about the
SMU football scandal
"Oh good. Now he'll be bi-ignorant."
- Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower when told that
Texas Governor Bill Clements had been studying Spanish
"Ain't nothin' in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead
armadillos."
-Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower
"If ignorance ever goes to $40 a barrel, I want drillin' rights on
that man's head."
- Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower discussing President
George Bush's policies
"If it's dangerous to talk to yourself, it's probably even dicier to
listen..."
- Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower
"I'd just make a little bit of money, I wouldn't make a whole lot."
- Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis defending himself against the charge
that he would personally profit from a bill he had introduced.
"I am filled with humidity."
- Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis
"I move we recess to go outside and throw up."
- Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis during a budget hearing
"This is a real competitive business."
- A gas station owner, when asked to explain the rapid rise in gasoline
prices when Kuwait was invaded
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