How Women Can Talk About Men And Still Be Politically Correct

- he is not a Male Chauvinist Pig; he has Swine Empathy.
- he does not have a beer gut; he develops a Liquid Grain Storage Facility.
- he is not afraid of commitment; he is relationship challenged.
- he is not horny; he is sexually focused.
- he is not quiet; he is a Conversational Minimalist.
- he does not have a fabulous rear end; he has achieved Buttocks Perfection.
- he is not stupid; he suffers from Minimal Cranial Development.
- he does not get lost all the time; he investigates Alternative Destinations.
- he is not balding; he is in Follicle Regression.
- he does not fart and belch; he is Gastronomically Expressive.
- he is not a redneck; he is a Genetically-Related American.
- he is not a cradle robber; he prefers Generationally Differential Relationships.
- he does not get falling-down drunk; he becomes Accidentally Horizontal.
- he does not act like a total ass; he develops a Case Of Rectal-Cranial Inversion.
- he is not short; he is Anatomically Compact.
- he does not have a rich daddy; he is a Recipient Of Parental Asset Infusion.
- he does not constantly talk about cars; he has a Vehicular Addiction.
- he does not have a hot body; he is Physically Combustable.
- he is not unsophisticated; he is Socially Malformed.
- he does not eat like a pig; he suffers from Reverse Bulimia.
- he is not a bad dancer; he is Overly Caucasian.
- he does not hog the blankets; he is Thermally Unappreciative.
- you do not buy him a drink; you initiate an Alcohol-For-Conversation Exchange.
- you do not kiss him; you become Facially Conjoined.
- his jeans are not too tight; he is Anatomically Undercirculated.
- it's not his crack you see hanging out of his pants; it's rear cleavage.

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