The top 17 things you'll never hear a WOMAN say:

17. Go ahead and leave the toilet seat up.

16. I think hairy butts are really sexy. 15. Hey, get a whiff of that one.

14. Please don't throw that old T-shirt away, the holes in the armpit are just too cute.

13. I am soooo happy that Brad Pitt is finally getting married.

12. What do you mean today's our anniversary?

11. Can we not talk to each other tonight? I'd rather just watch TV.

10. Ohh, this diamond is way too big!

09. And for our honeymoon we're going fishing in Alaska!

08. Can our relationship get a little more physical? I'm tired of being "just friends".

07. Honey, does this outfit make my butt look too small?

06. Aww, don't stop for directions, I'm sure you'll be able to figure out how to get there.

05. Is that phone for me? Tell 'em I'm not here.

04. I don't care if it is on sale, 300 dollars is too much for a designer dress.

03. Hey, pull my finger!

02. Your ex-girlfriend wants to come along? Why, sure!

...and the number 1 thing you'll never hear a woman say:

01. I'm wrong, you must be right again.

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