The Hormone Hostage
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!
|What's for dinner?||Can I help you with dinner?||Where would you like to go for dinner?||Here, have some wine.|
|Are you wearing that?||Wow, you sure look good in brown!||Wow! Look at you!||Here, have some wine.|
|What are you so worked up about?||Could we be overreacting?||Here's my paycheck.||Here, have some wine.|
|Should you be eating that?||You know, there are a lot of apples left.||Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?||Here, have some wine.|
|What did you DO all day?||I hope you didn't over-do it today.||I've always loved you in that robe!||Here, have some more wine.|
Things P.M.S. Stands For:
01. Pass My Shotgun
02. Psychotic Mood Shift
03. Perpetual Munching Spree
04. Puffy Mid-Section
05. People Make me Sick
06. Provide Me with Sweets
07. Pardon My Sobbing
08. Pimples May Surface
09. Pass My Sweat pants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
13. Potential Murder Suspect
Q: Why do they call it P.M.S?
A: Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
Q: What do you call a woman with PMS and ESP?
A: A know-it-all bitch.
Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
I'm out of Estrogen and I've got a gun!
I wasn't born a bitch. Men like you made me this way.
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