Why Men Are Never Depressed:

Men Are Just Happier People -- What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Wedding dress $5,000. Tux rental-$100.

The garage is all yours. You know stuff about tanks. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You can never be pregnant. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

One wallet and one color for all seasons. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. Wrinkles add character.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President.

The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

Same work, more pay.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

One mood all the time.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

You can play with toys all your life.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

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