Feminism / Feminists:

Top 10 things men do that piss feminists off:
1. Lie
2. Tell the truth
3. Never talk
4. Talk too much
5. Not show emotions
6. Be too emotional
7. Be mean
8. Be too nice
9. Earn more money
10. Breathe
- Dangerous Troll

Feminism - The belief that women should be treated equally to men...
Except when women are treated better.

Feminism is the belief that women should have a right to their bodies, but shouldn't be allowed to flash their tits in a strip club.

A feminist recently told me that men only use women for sex.
Not if she's rich.

For feminists, jokes are like sex.
Most of them don't get it.

Men who support feminism tend to reject gender stereotyping.
Which is just as well, seeing as they have no balls.

Feminism is the belief that both sexes may become equal by focusing solely on one of them.

A woman hired an environmentally safe pest control service and asked how it works.
The man replied.
The secret of my success is that I don't use chemical poison but feminist ants. They will instantly begin to complain about their ant roles and demand diversity quotas. Then they will convince the Queen to not procreate and blame everything on the males. In the last phase they will invite hostile worms from the neighborhood to immigrate into their nest. It takes only three generations to destroy the ant society or your money back.

Feminist: If you don't have a vagina, you don't get to make laws regulating them.
2nd righter: If you don't own guns, you don't get to regulate them.

Feminist believe their right to birth control means the government must pay for it.
So why shouldn't 2nd Amendment rights require for the government to pay for guns?

Feminist right to birth control: government must pay.
2nd Amendment right to bear arms: government must pay.

Feminist Catch 22
Liberal feminists is like, "I want to slaughter every living man on Earth, but I also want a boyfriend to come home to when I'm done. Fuck, why is the patriarchy like this."

Feminism is mixed up with a muddled idea that women are free when they serve their employers, but slaves when they help their husbands/families.

I accidentally said hello to a feminist the other day.
The court trial starts tomorrow.

Q: How many Feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to get a man to change it, and the other to criticize men for inventing it.

Q: What's the difference between a feminist and a gun?
A: You can put a silencer on a gun.

Q: What's the difference between a feminist and a battery?
A: A battery has a positive side.

Q: Why didn't the feminist cross the road?
A: Because there was a traffic cone in the way forty years ago.

Q: What did the feminist woman get her family for Christmas?
A: A bigger litter box and a brand new scratching post.

Q: Why did the feminist cross the road?
A: To start a fight with a complete stranger.

Q: What's the difference between a feminist and a lesbian?
A: The spelling.

Q: How can you tell if a woman is a feminist?
A: If the boring clothes, no makeup or angry demeanor don't give it away, she'll tell you within two minutes.

Q: How do you confuse a feminist?
A: Tell her that your wife wants the right to an abortion because your she doesn't want a girl!

Q: What's the difference between a suicide vest and a feminist?
A: A suicide vest does something when it's triggered.

Q: Do feminists get pissed off when men insist on paying the bill at the end of a date?
A: Trick question, feminists don't get asked out on dates

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