- The Cynical Pessimist

what politicians say	what politicians mean
I misspoke myself.	I am sorry I told the truth when I thought no one was listening.  I hope this won't hurt my chances for re-election.
I apologize for this unfortunate situation.	I am sorry I got caught committing a crime.  I hope this won't hurt my chances for re-election.
I can categorically deny all wrong doing.	I am sorry I got caught committing a crime.  I hope this won't hurt my chances for re-election.
I was found non guilty of all charges.	After bribing or killing all witnesses they were unable to convict me.  I hope this won't hurt my chances for re-election.
Change you can believe in.	You better believe that I will change from my campaign promises to what I actually believe in once I get elected.  I hope this won't hurt my chances for re-election.
I am 100% behind him.	I am waiting for the bus to come by so I can push him under.  I hope this won't hurt my chances for re-election.
I believe in this Economic Stimulus Package.	I need to pay back everyone who contributed to my election campaign.  I hope this won't hurt my chances for re-election.
I listen to all opinions.	And everyone who disagrees with me is unamerican and needs to be punished.  I hope this won't hurt my chances for re-election.
Let me say this about that.	Let me say nothing about something.  I hope this won't hurt my chances for re-election.
Let me be (crystal, perfectly, totally) clear.	I'm about to lie to you.  I hope this won't hurt my chances for re-election.

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