I went down this morning to sign up my dog for welfare. At first the lady said, "Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare".

So I explained to her that my dog is black, unemployed, lazy, can't speak English and has no frigging clue who his daddy is. He expects me to feed him, provide him with housing and medical care, and feel guilty because he is a dog.

So she looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify. My dog gets his first check Friday.

Damn this is a great country.

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